I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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