He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
