I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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