Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize