are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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