I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
