No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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