It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
