am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
