forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
