So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
