I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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