Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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