Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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