I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize