okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
