i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
