is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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