he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
