Your tits are I can't wait for
i barfeds in our rink
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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