are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
