Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
