I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
