I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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