Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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