Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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