a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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