he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
