ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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