he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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