Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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