i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
