fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's like iHOP with fire
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
