are you still at the devil's house?
if only i could text you this smell
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i love accidental penises.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
