oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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