Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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