I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize