Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
