Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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