AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
