lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize