I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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