Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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