Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
