I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
