i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
