my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
