its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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