She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
