You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
