the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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