I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
