But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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