Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Randomize
