Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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