Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
