Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
