Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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