You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
