This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
oh god was she eating orange peels again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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