That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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