i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
