Do you still have your period?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this boner is exhausting
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
